The Drunken Leprechaun Club

It's that time of year again. The Leprechauns are out and drinking themselves silly. Take this Leprechaun, Pat. You wouldn't believe his story. Now, keep in mind, that Leprechauns are a strange lot to begin with. But Pat, is a special case. Not so very long ago he had nothing. This is unusual for a Leprechaun, they are generally very gifted. But not Pat. He didn't even have beer money. And he hung out with a problematic crowd. Banshies, Phookas, Bogies, and one particularly rowdy Hag named Jean, who came to visit a couple times a year (she was very sweet until she had a couple of shots, then the bar usually shut down). Now, there was one thing that Pat could do like nobody else...he could put it away. Beer, that is. No one, not nobody could out drink Pat.
But one day his life changed. He got in a drinking contest with a very powerful and large Goblin. Powerful but simply unaware of Pat's gift for drinking massive quantities of beer and not even having to pee. (Really and he was barely 3 feet tall.) This Goblin's name was Snotnose, for obvious reasons, and he was a bully and a braggart. He challenged Pat to a guzzling contest and made a promise to give Pat a map to a real pot of gold. He gave proof of its existence and so the contest began. Well, everyone knew that this Snotnose character was in over his head. Pat had quite a reputation. And he drank him into the ground...literally. That's right, Snotnose dropped dead. He just keeled over. At first, they thought he was trying to get out of the contest. But no, he really dropped dead. So after they toasted his life and buried him, Pat took the map, put together an exploration party, and went off after the pot of gold. After searching for about a week and a half they found it, and it was the real thing. It was overflowing with gold and there was some chocolate there too. "Hmm," Pat said, "someone had very good taste. It's from Switzerland."
Besides his outrageous gift for drinking, Pat had one more gift in abundance. He was generous to a fault. He split the gold and chocolate with the search party. Then Pat took his share and built a club for all of his drunken Leprechaun friends. They had not been welcome in many places. But, now they had a place where everybody knows their names, even if sometimes they were to drunk to know themselves. Of course, no one to this day has out-drank Pat yet. He has a gift. Wherever the beer goes, is a mystery. But Pat's place, The Drunken Leprechauns Club, is doing very well and their big day is almost here. Pat may be the drunkest Leprechaun that you will ever see, but not so drunk that he can't wish you a "Happy St. Paddy's Day! "Hic.

The Drunken Leprechaun Club T-shirts in different styles and colors are available at
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Herewith A Tribute To The Color GREEN!

Hail, Hail the color green.
The highly beloved color of frogs, Ireland, and money. What a resume.
In a swamp, in Ireland, there lives a frog named Smyth. While studying his family tree he also found out that the color green is quite magical, and he has since become an expert on all things green. So here he is in honor of St. Patrick's Day, to apprise you of all of the valuable attributes and benefits of this prized hue, as well as the dubious history of his family. St. Paddy's Day is a great time to remember how the color of green has influenced our lives. (Look at him wave his little flag. "Yeah, Erin Go Braugh to you to, baby." He'll be drinking himself silly in about a minute.)
First of all, lets face it, people look good in green. Smyth gets lots of compliments so he knows this well. He hears, "Hey you look good in green, it really sets off your eyes" all the time. It has been said that green improves your reading ability. Well, sure. Look at his eyes, they are huge, they don't miss a thing. All because he is green. And his family reproduces well. Everyone knows of the fertility powers of green. It's magical. That's why magic beans are green. We all know how fast and tall they grow. We've seen the pictures.
An ancestor of Smyth was an enchanted frog. Their powers are in their skin, all enchanted frogs are green. This is common knowledge. He also claimed to have known Merlin, but nobody really believed him.
Lot's of dragons are green. They can be pretty scary, especially if they have gas. They really do breath fire. A little indigestion and you could become a pile of ash if you are standing in the way. Smyth also was related to a real 'green eyed monster'. Now they can be very nasty. They want everything they see, or they will give you the evil eye. Goblins, trolls, and gremlins tend to be green (I know; I drove a Gremlin once. It was green).
Goo tends to be green, snot too, and puke. Kids love these words. They are magical. You could say puke twenty times in a row and kids will still laugh. It has great power, its green.
Lots of people these days would kill to get a green card. They want to stay here. They are aliens. There are other kinds of aliens that are known as 'little green men', you know, "they have saucer shaped eyes that put people uptight"...remember the song? The Great Gazoo and Yoda are both 'little green men', with great power. Smyth is sure, it's in their skin, it's green.
A lot of people think they have a great power to make things grow. It is called a green thumb. Most of the time it really is just Miracle Grow, (but it comes in a green box, and the manufacturers don't mind if you take credit). Sometimes they grow these plants in a greenhouse. Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side, but not generally. Christmas trees are green as well as some of Santa's elves. Look at their magical ability to know what we want for Christmas. It's in the green baby.
And we all love the green, green grass of home. We all know that green tea is good for you. We love green lights. We don't love red lights, and yellow lights are as good as green lights.
Greenland is a nice place to visit, so is Greensboro and Green Bay.
Some people think there is a 'greenhouse effect'. But the arguments over things like this create much more hot air the the 'greenhouse effect' itself.
Look how powerful green is: a brown cow (or black and white for that matter) eats green grass and produces white milk. Amazing! Now would that happen if the grass was purple? I think not.
There are green tomatoes. They should not be confused with the vicious hooligans in 'The Attack of the Killer Tomatoes'. The red guys were responsible for that massacre.
And even when people lose their usefulness they can still be turned in to soylent green. They can actually become the gift that keeps on giving.
Many famous people are intimately related to green, like the Hulk, he has his own comic book, that's big.
Now, it is true that most of this information is of value to no one, unless you are a Jeopardy contestant. "What is the color of all things good for $1000, Alex?" But to a sufficiently soused man or frog, what can you say, but... let's all lift our glasses and toast the color GREEN! Drink Up!
Happy St. Patrick's Day.

Always Green Frog T-shirts in different styles and colors are available at both
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