The Easter Bunny Plan For Survival

The National Council of Easter Bunnies has just finished their annual conference and the reports weren't good. Tears were shed when the statistics were read. They had lost too many members this past year and it would be difficult if not impossible to deliver the required number of eggs needed for all of the scheduled Easter Egg Hunts. (This has never happened before, there was nothing in the constitution about it.)
And it gets worse.
How did they lose these esteemed members? Sit down, this is just awful...the very people that the Easter Bunnies have been faithfully serving all these years, delivering their cherished eggs...ate them! Not the eggs...the Bunnies! That's right! They ate them! Some they stewed, some they put in a casserole, some they put in a pie (A PIE?), some they baked, some they grilled, and the worst offense of all...some they skewered (OH, HAVE MERCY!). Is this gratitude? I think not.
After they finished reading the statistics, and a sufficient number of hankies were passed out, and they all had an extra glass of Jim Beam, they got busy on a course of action. They came up with a three phased plan. It was voted on and all agreed it was the best that they could come up with. Here it is:

THE EASTER BUNNY PLAN FOR SURVIVAL
Step One: Education is the key.
They would work harder on educating the bunny-eaters about a healthy lifestyle and how eggs (NOT BUNNIES) are a huge part of living well. Since we all know the benefits of eggs, (they had gotten a very bad rap for years, but we now know that eggs have never killed anyone), they would convince them to eat eggs not bunnies. The recipes with eggs are endless and they are so much more versatile than bunnies. When have you ever seen a bunny fluff up a cake? Hmm? Never. See!
Step Two: They would send an affable representative to state their case and provide re-education.
He would be friendly, good-looking, and come baring gifts (eggs of course). Some with yolks, some with chocolate, and some with marshmallow inside. The Council is sure that the bunny-eaters will respond to reason, recipes, and expensive chocolate. But if not, it will be unfortunate, the Council has come up with the dreaded third step as a last recourse. They did not want it to come to this. They have loved their profession since the formation of this practice, and they have loved the people that they serve, but in recent years they have been mightily provoked and are out of ideas.
Step Three: THE ATTACK OF THE KILLER EASTER BUNNIES would commence.
This is an unwanted solution, but if the execution of Easter Bunnies persists, it will be a 'them against us' plan for survival. The bunnies will come with their Winchesters and blow the bunny-eaters to smithereens (is smithereens a place? Hmm...we'll find out).

So the public service announcement put out by the National Council of Easter Bunnies wants you to "cut the crap and eat eggs not bunnies, if you know what's good for you."
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
The National Council of Easter Bunnies wants to wish you all a very Happy and HEALTHY Easter.

T-shirts in different styles and colors are available at The Smokin' Frog T-Shirts and Gifts.

The Evil Easter Bunny: A Disturbing Children's Fairy Tale

The Easter Bunny community is up in arms. It seems that one of their offspring came out deformed. He doesn't have the Easter Bunny generosity gene. He's a renegade, a punk, a black sheep. It is hard for the community to admit it, but one of their own is a selfish little brat, and won't share his chocolate! Really! Whoever heard of such a thing?
He even despised the production of chocolate. He is steals the produce, but won't help make it. This is so unusual. The National Council of Easter Bunnies was understandably disturbed.This will certainly sully the well earned good name of the Easter Bunny community.
His parents have tried everything. Tough love. Boot Camp. They even contemplated calling Dr. Phil. But had second thoughts after the Britney thing went so badly. Dr. Phil was probably not up to the task, since this little brat is way beyond Britney. Many of the community, in private, have actually called him evil. They may be right, but a bit premature. Since there hasn't been a trial yet. It will be held tomorrow, and then it will be determined if this bunny is of the proper caliber to be a real professional Easter Bunny. If not, as many suspect, he will be banished from the community, away from their production of chocolate. He will be exposed to the natural elements...Shop Rite, Mr Z's, Albertson's and many other places that little bunnies fear. He may, oh have mercy, become someone's dinner.
All because he wouldn't share. Well, we'll see what the esteemed judges decide. While we hope for the best for the little brat, the good name of the Easter Bunny Association must be protected at all costs. Otherwise, what would parents tell their children? "Here honey, have some chocolate that we bought at the Super Duper Market." Oh, that sounds just great. And what about the Easter Egg Hunt? Where did the Easter Eggs come from? Not the Easter Bunnies...no one believes in them anymore. All because some nasty Easter Bunny yelled at some poor unsuspecting little kid, "Get Your Own Chocolate!" The kid may be scarred for life.
So you see, while it may appear to be a small insignificant thing, a bratty Easter Bunny, the worlds could actually collide. We will hope for the best and keep you posted.

T-shirts in different styles and colors are available at both The Smokin' Frog T-Shirts and Gifts and Crazy-Land T-Shirts.

Alien Cuisine

UGH! Humans again! Boorring!
I gotta make some changes. I'm in a rut. I go to the same planets, eat the same species and get the same gas everyday. Something has got to give. I'm beginning to think it will be my stomach first. The humans that I ate yesterday were coated in some real crappy flavoring. How was I to know how I would react. They were so good looking, real crisp, well done, toasty brown, and the glaze was great. Real eye appeal. You know some planets put that stuff on everyone. But I had a bad reaction. I feel like I put a hole in my stomach. The burn is too much. And I keep having that feeling that you get when pills don't go done right. It just won't quit. Gosh, I could really use an antacid or something. It hurts and yet I'm hungry at the same time. But they are just so addicting. I swear this is the last one. After this I gotta make some changes.

T-shirts in different styles and colors are available at The Smokin' Frog T-Shirts and Gifts.

• Despite the high cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
• Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.

Shop early for Christmas gifts. Funny Easter Bunny t-shirts & alien t-shirts make fun gifts.